The Unexpected Frustration of Coming into Balance

This has been quite the beginning to our new year! It has really set me to thinking about grounding and balance. The studio where I teach yoga (through Zoom) has decided to theme a week of this month around the practice of ahimsa, meaning non-violence. While exploring this in my own practice, I remembered a concept from Iyengar’s book The Tree of Yoga. One form of violence that he considers is when you overuse the stronger side of your body and thus neglect to pay attention to the weaker side. Therefore, in our practice we should seek to integrate the left and right sides of the body in order to correct these imbalances. This is true non-violence.

When I brought awareness to implement this into my yoga practice I noticed two things. I was definitely out of balance and when I tried to use the stronger side only to the ability of the weaker side, I became really agitated! I felt like if I wasn’t pushing myself as far as I could go, I became frustrated. Even if it created further imbalance.

So, I began to ponder this. I mean we all have our strengths. And we are taught to use our strengths. But does focusing on the areas we are most comfortable and feel most confident in create imbalance in those areas of life? Of course it does. We just don’t often see that as a problem. If you are an awesome caregiver and you put all your energy into giving and caring to others but aren’t as good at remembering to care for yourself, eventually that is going to catch up with you. And vice versa, if you always put yourself first you will most definitely miss out on the depth of caring for others. And you can apply this to any area in your life. Working vs. relaxing. Being alone vs. being in community. Generosity vs security. If you have more ease, strength and comfort with one side, that is the one you will default to and your life will continually be out of balance. 

Here’s a crazy thought. Try spending some time consciously doing things that are not comfortable. Try the other side of the coin. If you like to give, keep some for yourself. Introverts? Get out there and just BE with some people. Extroverts? Sit by YOURSELF. Scary, I know. It may feel painful and frustrating just like trying to stretch the two sides of your body equally, but slowly you will find that integration. You will feel more at peace. And eventually you will find at least moments of the absolute bliss of a life in balance.

Much love and luck as we walk into 2021.

Sri Melissa