Making the Decision to Practice Meditation
Meditation is a practice. I know most people know this and refer to their meditation practice. It’s worth saying though, because although we refer to it that way, I’m not sure we think of it that way. Often people get discouraged because sitting with yourself, trying to harness an unruly mind is FRUSTRATING. Many people, when faced with this frustration decide that they just can’t do it and stop trying. This is why I think it’s really worth emphasizing that it is a practice. Sitting with that frustration is something that we have to learn how to do by practicing. Some days for me, that is the practice. Just sitting there watching my mind resist.
Now, I have never been good at making decisions. I own that. I often go back and forth trying out all options in my mind until I get overwhelmed and stuck. This includes deciding how I am going to use my meditation time. Should I sit? Should I chant? What should I chant? How long? Maybe I should just walk….
But making a decision is key to attaining focused energy around anything. So, for me, making decisions has become a practice. The more specific a decision, the more focused the energy. I had a really cool experience this week that demonstrated this for me both internally and externally.
On Thursday, I was invited by my Sanskrit teacher to a Bhagavad Gita chanting group. It was a completely unexpected invitation. And it had no description beyond some words written in Devanagari (the Sanskrit alphabet) and a zoom link. I emailed her back and asked what it was for. Her reply was the Gita chanting group I mentioned.
I didn't know what to expect beyond perhaps being in an unfamiliar group of people who probably knew way more than me. I thought maybe we would chant through a chapter (there are 18). What I never expected was that we would be chanting the ENTIRE Gita. That's right. 3+ hours of chanting. In Sanskrit.
Here is what I observed through this experience:
-I was curious and excited when I opened the invitation but as the day wore on my mind thought of all the reasons not to go. But I decided I would go in spite of my hesitations. And I went.
-After hour #2 of continuous chanting, I watched people on the Zoom screen slowly drop off and I knew my teacher would understand if I didn't finish. I heard my mind say things like, this is ridiculous, I need to eat dinner…I need to pee…. this is exhausting….
I thought about hitting leave meeting a few times. But I decided to keep going.
-Once I made the decision that I was going to finish no matter what and once my mind knew it could not sway me, I found that I actually became a part of the chants themselves. I found one pointedness and believe me it took all of my focus and concentration to make it through.
Here's what I learned:
-That the mind will always try to find an excuse until you make the decision and make the decision again until the mind sees that it is not negotiable.
-That even if you do not understand what you are saying (I have not heard, let alone chanted most of the chapters in Sanskrit) if you decide to open yourself up to the vibrations of mantra there is an innate understanding that transcends the thinking mind.
-That surrendering to a decision to stay focused on one thing can provide an invaluable experience that not only benefits you but continues to radiate out touching everyone around you. AND the Universe supports us in this! Halfway through, my daughter, who is usually either aloof or annoyed by my chanting, snuck quietly in and offered to order me dinner to sustain my effort!
All in all, I guess my point is. Make the decision. If you hold in your heart the seed of desire to make progress toward knowing your Self, you need to practice sitting with yourself. Make the decision to commit to the practice. It’s so worth it. You are so worth it and the world needs you.
If you need help creating a clear vision or staying accountable to yourself while you become established in your practice, , consider joining me for my next 40-day group practice or one on one meditation mentoring based on your specific goals.
Sending love,
Sri Devi Melissa