The Undeniable Need for Mutuality

Some of you may know that I work with small children a couple of mornings a week. This is precious heart rendering time I have the opportunity to share with these little humans that are still forming their ways. Sometimes I wish I had a megaphone loud enough for the whole world to hear the things that come out of their mouths. Yesterday was one of those times. 

It was art time and they were busily creating. We are a small group, so side conversations are pretty easily heard. As I sat there painting my own dazzling watercolor, I heard this little voice next to me speak softly to the young boy sitting beside her. “I just love you.” she said. “I know we don’t always agree on things and we don’t like the same things, but I love you. I love you just the way you are. And I hope you love me too.”

My heart literally broke open.

The purity and the sweetness. The unfaltering openness of expressing how she felt. The desire for mutuality in that feeling.

Now, I know he loves her too. I see them playing together. He looked down and smiled. Even though he didn’t say anything, I could feel the reciprocation and she could too. They just kept painting as if it was no big deal.

It really made me think. Wouldn’t it be so beautiful if all humans of all ages could feel safe enough to exchange love and friendship so freely? Even the simple kindness to say, “I know we don’t always agree on things and we don’t like the same things, but I love you.” 

I realize that this gets really challenging really quick in our grownup world right now. There are plenty of people who are just so angry about so many things that the idea of loving someone just the way they are seems impossible. But there is something to this. There really is.

The way back to wholeness is not through dissention, it is through understanding. Not necessarily understanding the whys and the hows and the whats. But understanding that in spite of all that, the only way back to wholeness is by coming together. 

Having the courage to open our hearts in kindness in spite of how the mind may be judging someone. 

Looking for the good in people even if through our lens all we can see is the opposite.

Putting out the energy of mutual respect. Even if it’s not reciprocated right away, trusting that it will be.

It is, in its essence, through love.

Deep, deep down we all want that mutual exchange with eachother.

If, as humans, we could open our hearts enough so that even a fraction of that sentiment could be exchanged between us, our world would change. 

I am in no way saying ignore and bypass your feelings, especially when someone has hurt you. 

This work begins with acknowledging those hurt feelings inside of ourselves. Having a relationship with compassion for ourselves is key so that when someone is disrespectful to us or hurts us in some way, we don’t need to defend ourselves with anger. We can stand beside ourselves and give ourselves the reinforcement of love and respect and stand firm in what we believe through the understanding that in fact there is a way to disagree about things AND still respect one another.

If you haven’t already started this work, please do. Start with yourself. Start with your family. Start with the cashier. Start with the telemarketer. But please start. And practice every day. 

We need to build an army of compassion out here if we are going to make it through this.

Sending you love. Whoever you are.