How Much of Me is Me?

In an effort to get to the root of some ongoing patterns, I decided to dive into an interesting self-study. For the last month or so I have been sitting with a practice of talking to a picture of myself as a baby for 15 minutes a day. It has been a lot more intense and eye opening than I imagined it would be. It is also something I look forward to each morning more than anything, which also surprised me. 

So, this morning, once again, I sat in the candlelight looking at a baby picture of myself. As I started the dialogue (or monologue I suppose), it struck me deeply how we take in information when we are this small. We cannot open our eyes, words and tones don’t make sense yet, there is no frame of reference for smells…everything is taken in through the energy around us. Our environment and the feelings of the people in our vicinity are what frame those first impressions. Think about that. Having a new baby in any home creates a whole range of emotional responses, and as babies we are taking them all in. We have to in order to survive.

From there we continue to take in information like a sponge. As we grow, we are watching, listening, feeling, touching and being touched. All the while we are creating ourselves to fit into the world we see. As we do, we watch for the results and modify our behavior from that. Mix into that who is feeding us the information. Our behavior will modify differently based on who that person is in relation to us.

That brought me to an interesting question.

How much of the me I share with people is actually me?